Forgiving Yourself Can Be The First Step Toward Healing

He couldn’t even get out of his truck, but he still drove to Walgreens because he was desperate for relief. That’s where I met Bill, and what followed was a reminder that healing prayer isn’t reserved for church services or perfect moments. I’m Linda Budd, a pastor at Rivergate Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I take Jesus at His word when He tells us to lay hands on the sick and expect recovery.

We talk about pursuing a healing anointing over time, praying for real people with real pain, and what it looks like to ask God boldly for healing even in ordinary places like a parking lot. I also pray directly for anyone listening who is dealing with sickness, disease, or ongoing pain, inviting you to bring your need to Jesus without shame.

Then the story gets more searching: Bill’s pain improves, but it doesn’t fully leave, and our conversation turns toward forgiveness, guilt, and the kind of self-condemnation that keeps people stuck. I share why I believe refusing to forgive yourself can become its own prison, and why grace means we stop acting like our past is bigger than what Christ has done. If you’ve been carrying shame, regret, or a sense that you don’t deserve freedom, this is your nudge to let it go.

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Transcript

Linda's Healing Ministry Introduction

Linda Budd 0:00

Hi, I'm Linda Budd. I'm a pastor at Rivergate Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And I take the scriptures literally that says that we are to lay hands on the sick and see them recover. And so for several years I've gone after a healing anointing. I've prayed for people dozens of times over the years, and I see so many get healed. I've seen all manner of sickness and disease healed. If you have any pain in your body, if you're infirmed, if you have any disease, if you have any sickness at all, I just reach my hand up to heaven right now in the name of Jesus and I call forth the new body part that you need. Listen to this testimony. I sell stuff on Marketplace on Facebook and meet people at a Walgreens near my house. I'm always on the lookout for who I can heal. Well, I had an appointment scheduled with a man named Bill. And Bill Facebooked me when it was time to meet and said that he could not meet because he had hurt his back real bad and that he couldn't move. And so I asked him to come anyway. And I said, I will pray for you if you will come. And here was his response. He told me he had tried everything else. So he said, I guess it wouldn't hurt. He said, I'll desperate, I'm desperate, I'll try anything. So he came to Walgreens just so I would pray for him. He wouldn't get out of his truck, and so I walked up to his new truck to the driver's side where he was driving, and I asked the Lord to give me a new back for Bill. And uh then I asked him how it was, and he said, Well, I won't know unless I get out of the truck and I move. And he didn't appear to be willing to do so. So after he got home, he Facebooked me and he told me it was better, but that it was not completely gone. And so I kept leading him through healing by talking with him on Facebook. Isn't that great? Well, today he still has a level five pain and he refuses to forgive himself for anything he has done in the past. And I have told him that unless he does, he will keep his pain. And I get the feeling that he must have done some really bad things in his past because there was nothing that I could do to convince him that he needed to forgive himself. So I just want to say to all of you that forgiveness is so huge. The Lord died for our forgiveness, he died for the forgiveness of our sins and our sicknesses, and he does not want us to keep unforgiveness of any kind. And so I asked this man on Facebook if he's asked Jesus into his life, and he states that he has. I just get the feeling that he's really not living for the Lord, and that he has a lot of guilt and shame. And so if you have guilt and shame and unforgiveness today, I just want to encourage you right now in the name of Jesus to let it go, give it to the Lord, and no longer hold yourself up bigger than Jesus, because that's what we're doing when we say, I refuse to forgive, I can't forgive myself, I've been so awful. You're making yourself bigger than God when you do that because he died for your forgiveness. Aren't these just great testimonies of the goodness of God and the healing power of Jesus Christ? If you are interested in having me come and speak at the motivational event, your church, or a conference of some sort, I am more than happy to consider that invitation. Please contact my church's office, Rivergate Church Tulsa, 918 492 5511, and we'll see if we can set something up. God bless you.